Cookies, a Faker and "Look What She's WEARING"

I stopped off at our local Michaels to pick up a few cookie supplies. For years now I've taken over the ritualistic family Christmas cookie baking. I bake, I send, they eat. This year is no exception. So, here I am, finding the perfect baskets, perfect filler and sprinkles (my son tells me I am not allowed to call sprinkles jimmies, only people from Pennsylvania do that. I consider sprinkles the colored sugar and the longer colored things jimmies. Apparently, that's not done east of the Delaware).

While I am intently considering additional stocking stuffers from the $1 rack, my daughter, Pherrin, decides to critique my outfit. Admittedly, I dress like a freak most of the time. This day was no exception. My outfits would not turn any heads on the streets of New York (well, below 14th Street anyway) mind you, but here in suburbia, apparently I commit fashion faux pas (NOT! I don't ever cross these lines)
I had on a well-worn April Cornell floor length dress (not because it was supposed to be floor length, I am just really short) equally as worn out faded blue turtle neck underneath, freaky orange suede boots (which I will add DID match the colors in the dress - giant floral). Yep, this was one of my more eye-catching combos.

"Mam, WHY do you HAVE to dress like that out in public? People are actually TALKING about you." "What are they saying?" "LOOK what she is WEARING!" "Oh really? Like I care?" "Maaam! You should care!" "Who said it, then? How old was she?" "I don't know! Like, 20?" "HA!" "Mom, seriously, that giant floral HAS GOT TO GO! Why do you insist on wearing those long flow-y skirts?!" "I like them. Its my personal style." "Why don't you wear jeans like a NORMAL person?" "I hate jeans, they're uncomfortable." "You're sick, MAM!" "What is the big deal? I've been dressing like this forever."
"So, I'd rather wear a flowing comfortable skirt than a tight pair of pants, I don't think that's so terrible." "Mom, those dresses make your butt look HUGE!" "It is huge...this dress isn't making it look huge. I certainly don't want to squeeze my fat ass into tight pants, that will confirm what may only be suspected under the flowing skirt." "Shana's mom is way bigger than you and she wears pants" "That's Shana's mom's prerogative" "I think overweight people look even worse cramming the fat into tight clothes...all bumpy and jiggly." "Mom, you could afford to go shopping ANYWHERE . Why don't you buy some normal clothes!" "Because I'm too busy paying your tuition and your sister's cell phone bills" "That's NOT TRUE" "If you wanted to, you could still afford anything you want." "You see, my dear...I don't have this burning desire to conform to what you believe "normal" is. I like my way of dressing, I like buying stuff that is different." "If I weighed 100lbs, I'd probably buy even freakier clothes." "You're crazy. I called "What Not To Wear" but they said they were looking for people in Kansas." "Yeah, yeah. Well, I apologize if I embarrass you." "Hey, I'm just trying to HELP YOU OUT, Ma." hehehe.

Anyway. Cut to the cookies:
I've been baking all day. I found a few Italian cookie recipes. Man, they suck! One is called Ginetti. Its like homemade playdoh. 10 eggs, 10 cups of flour and 4 tbsn of butter, anise extract and a little water. Lets just say I had to stop after the 8th cup of flour. It was soooo stiff! Anyway, they came out like little round dog biscuits. My Dad will LOVE em!

The next one is called Crumiri. Its made with corn meal instead of flour....enuff said. I dipped them in melted chocolate in order to draw attention away from the abject grittiness.
The third cookie is actually really good, considering it has no eggs or liquids....hey, 2 cups of butter and 4 cups of powdered sugar...what's not to love? Ground up a cup of walnuts fine and added 2 more cups of flour and a little vanilla. I rolled them out and brushed with a little egg white and sprinkled on the rest of the finely chopped walnuts. Rolled it up Jelly Roll Style and sliced it.
Stuck a candied cherry in the middle and voila! They melt in your mouth! The recipe actually called for the dough to be shaped into crescents and doused in powdered sugar, but I thought I'd shake things up a bit.

So, then...I made spritz~ put it through the cookie press I bought a few months ago. That thing is torture. Bernie had to do the pressing. With my lame right hand (result of carpal tunnel surgery) it was too much for me!
They came out really sweet looking.

The grand finale...biscotti! Almond and chopped red and green candied cherries. I cut them way too thick though...they are like biscotti bricks. You could feed a family of 4 from one "cookie". Anyway, to add insult to injury I am planning to enrobe them in white chocolate (just half the cookie) and put some dang jimmies on em.

Other than that....Ive got the obligatory ginger boys and sugar trees, bells, stars..et. al.
Tomorrow...I decorate them. Hopefully I can get them in the mail Tuesday. Christmas is really sneaking up on me!

We put up Bernie's Mom's hand-me-down faker. This is the first time in my entire life that I've had a fake Christmas tree. It looks so perfect...hahaha. No wild crazy branches, huge gaps...errant birds nests (my family runs a "Christmas Tree Farm" wink, wink. Its actually a variety of pine trees growing willy-nilly in the back yard. We usually harvest one of those natural beauties.)

So anyway, we have this faker up. We just light up a "christmas wreath" Yankee Candle and no one is the wiser.