introvert vs. extrovert

When I'm in my "manageable" manic phase, I can be extremely personable, friendly, fun, outgoing.
My manic episodes used to end in a big mess of swirling thoughts, hysteria and sometimes psychosis. Now, I'm an extrovert and its usually really fun.
When I'm in my manageable depressed state, I am quietly creative. I want to write, draw, read, think, domestic arts (aka: martha stewart ang). I used to pull the covers over my head, sleep for days on end, call out sick from work, get really paranoid and angry. Now, I'm a creative introvert...I feel sleepy towards the end, so I nap. I can still function though. I can still leave the house and work.

I'm writing about all of this now to make it real for me. I need to accept this illness, make it real for me. Its not going away, it will just be managable. Many highly successful people are bipolar. We can do great things.

To that end, I've decided to get back in touch with my talents. I'm taking an intensive drawing class starting January 5. I want to dig deep to where I was before my life fell apart. Nurture my God given talents to thier fullest potential. Part of this boost came from my inclusion in a soon-to-be published coffee-table book of Fotolog photographers. I was amazed to be noticed...especially for my self-portraits! My self-portraits are being published. That freaks me out, but gives me the validation I needed to persue my perspective through various artistic mediums.

I want to continue to write about my moods. I need to see the pattern.