I come from a long line of moody people. Mental disorders run rampant...but so does talent and beauty. Its a curse I tell you! My mother told me I have the curse of beauty when I was in my early twenties. I never really knew what she meant until I was older.
I was naive. I may have been attractive but I was waaaay too trusting. Long story for another time.
Anyway, I'm afflicted with mood-swings. My brother are as well. Its easy for them to be moody. For some reason its okay for a Dad to brood and grunt and sit and stare...but Moms don't seem to have that luxury. I guess I do my fair share of hiding in my bedroom when Im on the downward spiral. Its a terrible thing. But, the upside is the upside. When we are up...we are very very up. I think my Dad is bipolar. I know I am...and I have my suspicions about my brothers.
So, I hate feeling this way. I could feel it coming along the past few days. I've been sleeping more. When Im manic, I don't sleep. I can go go go on 3 hours a night. Then I slip and slide down and I can't stay awake.
At this point in my life I doubt I'd be able to hold down a full time job where I had to leave the house. My moods are just too unpredictable. Its not even MOODS per se. Its an entire mental, physical and spiritual affliction. Insidious. Cruel and Unfair.
Just call us the Sensitive Certa Family.
6 comments:
Oh Angela, I know the downside of this experience, though I rarely if ever experience the up. Some days I can hardly face going to work, and when I get there I really don't function. And it makes me angry with myself 'cuz I hate being this way, like living in slow motion. All I want to do at times like that is hide... from everything and everyone. Here's hoping you'll start to come round again soon. You know that it cycles, so you will be back in good form before long. Life is really a rollercoaster, isn't it?
I'm loving your pictures... and espcially the cat! :-)
Thanks, Josie!
I don't doubt my mood will cycle up again. I'm a fast cycler! Some people stay in the down mood for years...then up for years. I go up for about 2 weeks, down for 2 weeks...Sometimes the up mood has its down side: racing thoughts, spending too money, anger, paranoia, risky behavior. Before I started taking medication, I used to believe I was completely invincible. I'd do incredibly well at work, volunteer for all sorts of projects, then, when I'd plummet I was paralyzed. I couldn't complete the tasks, I'd step down from promotions...etc. Even quit jobs for no reason. That is the scary part.
Luckily my mood swings don't go so far up anymore.
I kinda miss it sometimes though :-)
Hey Angela, if you send me your email addy, they will add you to Taste Buds (that recipe blog). You can send it to josie2shoes@gmail.com
Thanks Josie! Josie and the Pussycats!
Remember that show..lol
I sure do remember! :-) Hey,check your email, I sent you a question!
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