MSU

I had been dreading yesterday for a month. Family Orientation at Montclair State University. My daughter Pherrin, hopefully, will graduate with the Class of '11.
So. Of course we get lost and run in at the tail end of check-in. One of her best friends from 2nd grade is also attending...and is her roomie. I got to hang with her Mom all day.

Funny. Now, you've heard me complain about Pherrin. blah, blah, blahhhhhh. However, yesterday was an eye-opener. I saw her in a new light. Ya know, I musta done sumpthin right. Pherrin is one on-the-ball chick.

I've always pushed her to DIY-it. Probably too much. She was the oldest of the three kids at home and I was tough on her. TOUGH. Lets just say she has a high-tolerance for pain. I remember one day the kids were chasing each other around out in the back yard and either John or Katie ran inside and slammed the back door. Little did they know that Pherrin was in hot pursuit and had stuck out her palm to block the door. Unfortunately, the force of the slam against the force of her hand caused her entire arm to go through the glass.

She had major gashes in her wrists. Blood was everywhere. If anyone had come into the house after we left for the hospital they would have suspected a bloody murder.
Long story short, she really didn't complain that much about it. I tend not to freak out in emergency situations. I just think cool heads prevail...maybe she tapped into that a little bit. Any other kid would have lost it, I think. Her brother and sister were crying.

Don't get me wrong, I have my moments, but its usually regarding Luxury Problems...not bloody injuries and the like. In fact, I hate the sight of blood. I can't even watch myself get an injection. Forget blood tests. No way.

So, back to our story.

Pherrin's friend, I'll call her Tara and her Mom, I'll call her Joan.
Joan has all of Tara's paperwork, test scores, immunizations, etc. etc. Joan is a raging control freak. She knew EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING. Poor Tara. She was clueless.

Pherrin, on the other hand had taken care of all of the preliminary paperwork ON HER OWN and had submitted it well before orientation. I mean, she had come to me with,"MOM! YOU HAVE TO DO ---" to which my stock response was, "NO, YOU HAVE TO ---"
I let her know on no uncertain terms that if she wanted to attend university she needed to find a way to get it done. Mom isn't gonna be there to fill out forms, etc. while she's living on campus.

So, she did it all. Her check-list was completely finished. All of the preliminary tasked were done...and by her! I was really proud of her. Especially after seeing how controlling Joan was. Joan flipped out when she realized she couldn't be with Tara when they enrolled for classes. "Tara won't know what she's doing! This school doesn't care what classes she takes! They just want to make money!" I'm like, "All Freshman take the Gen Ed stuff...geez, relax!" Poor Tara.

Joan is worried that Tara won't be able to live without her. She will fail her classes. Very negative, but after seeing her and the other parents who dote WAY too much on their kids, I suppose its a real possibility.

I learned a lot about the "college experience" yesterday. I didn't live at school and only had my friends dorms to compare. It is A LOT different now. Attitudes about partying...sex...expectations. Kids need so much STUFF. I mean, all we needed was a notebook a few pencils, carbon paper and a portable typewriter.

CARBON PAPER! lolol just the thought of that icky blue stuff is funny. Onion skin typing paper. Watermark stock.

Anyway, the wind-up is that I am very impressed with Pherrin. I thought she was being a big flake, but I've come to realize she will probably make a good R.A.

Even Joan told me she was always impressed with how organized and "on-the-ball" Pherrin is...and was even as a child. Its so interesting to see a child through the eyes of another parent. She is so sure her daughter is going to quit. Maybe because she didn't work for any of it, own it and respect it??? Hello, Joan. I think you're living the "college experience" through your daughter. It was strange and made me uncomfortable.

To me, the job of a parent is to prepare them for living out in the world as productive humans. There comes a time when you must expect them to take these skills and apply them. Cut the apron strings. Heck, if they've come far enough to attend college, they should be able to fill out their own health forms.