Chaos Junkie

All I need is a good dose of chaos to cure my catatonic conundrum. Case in point, Bernie nearly separated himself from a hand full of fingers this afternoon whilst rushing a plank though a circular saw...freehandedly (he removed the guide or safety as it were).

Here I am, enjoying a good read when I hear him let out a loud grumble. He'll make this sound when something frustrating happens, not necessarily dangerous. I think nothing of it...until...I hear it again and again...over and over. The saw isn't turning off.
Holy Crap.

I rush out to see what's going on and in he comes holding his hand together with its mate. "This is a bad one" he announces. I run over with the first thing I find - a dish towel. "Get me a towel, but not a good one..." uhh...okay. I find an old towel and wrap his hand up. "Lets look at it!" "NO!" "Did you lose any fingertips?" "I don't think so, but I know I hit bone." I pull on my boots and we head out to Princeton Hospital (you know, where House is supposed to take place?).

Of course, there is an elderly gentleman driving his little forest green Subaru about 35 mph in front of us. River Road is one hairpin curve after another, so no chance of passing. It's okay. I think of these incidents as my Guardian Angel keeping me from speeding or causing an accident.

"I think I'm going into mild shock" Bernie announces matter-of-fact-ly. "How do you know?" "I'm light-headed and my mouth is dry" "Do you have a slight headache?" "yes" "Wow! now I know what my problem is, I'm in Mild Shock! I feel like that everyday!"
My vain attempts at humor go unnoticed.

I look over and the man is positively green. His eyes are rimmed with red and his head is hanging. "What is going on? you're not losing any blood." "I don't know, I feel cold." This is weird. Bernie, first of all has the world's highest tolerance for pain. Second, he looks like death warmed over.

So, we get to the Emergency room and I have a security guard take him in a wheelchair. We walk through the doors and are told, "Someone will be with you shortly"
"Excuse me? my husband cut off his fingertips." "Ohhh! okay, come right in!!"

Long story short, he is fine. He has a few chunks out of his fore and middle fingers, but no fractures, just nasty lacerations. All fingertips are in tact. The trauma of cutting his hand with a circular saw sent him into this shock situation. One of the nurses told me that finger injuries are extremely painful - apparently there are many nerve endings in the fingers. I learned something new today.

I noticed feeling so much more alive during this episode. I've been feeling like a complete mope for the past few days. Crying, taking to my bed at 6pm. No reason. Can't claim PMS for this one. But I suddenly felt this overwhelming sense of purpose.
Finally being able to assist Bernie in a real way. He's so sweet to me every single day. Its like a light switched on - I got my fix...I guess I'm still just your garden variety chaos junkie.