Plotting along...

There has got to be an end to this funk I'm in. I went to my GP Monday and was told I am fit-as-a-fiddle. Nothing physically wrong with me save for a chronic sinus infection. Maybe I'm allergic to our dog. The DOG that bit the neighbor girl last week while she was delivering our Girl Scout Cookies. Her father is an attorney to boot. Her Mom is still smiling and waving at me while we pass in our respective mini-vans so I guess its all good. It turned out to be just a little scratch, but still.

Hes an aggressive dog. I wanted a Golden Retriever or a pug or some other nice doggies.
We end up with this crazy Plott (that's him in the photo above - another interesting fact : The Plott Hound is the State Dog of North Carolina Armed with this knowledge, your life is now complete). Kate thought he was soooooo cute. Puppies are always cute until they come home.

As soon as they start pooping all over suddenly the puppy belongs to ME.

FUNK. Uncomfortable with my work woes. Uncomfortable with kid conundrums. Pet perils and a sporadic spouse. Its been difficult to take care of myself aka go to meetings, plus I took the coffee commitment for my home group in December.
I am pulled in a million directions with no breaks. Bernie has been home maybe 6 weeks in the last four months and it looks like I'm going to be on my own with the Christmas stuff as well.

Alright, enough with the pity party. My therapist and I worked out a list of attributes I am striving for:
I AM BECOMING:
Determined and able to set limits.
Competent and confident at work and home
Self-disciplined
Follow through on ideas
Self acceptance
Fulfilled Healthy in body mind and emotion
Balanced
Self-love
Happy and at peace.

One realization I made today when I wrote down these goals is that I have come a long way from who I was 12 years ago. Back then I was completely self-deceived. I think I have a good grip on who I am, how I ended up like this, the root of my evils if you will.

I see my core issues in this list, the excuses and blame stripped away. I suppose this list looks quite abstract, sort of esoteric and broad to the outsider. I can pin-point exactly what this list means to me. Its just that hump I need to get over...the FUNK whatever it is.

All I can do is follow my gut and try to do the next right thing.