Happy New Year!

Haven't been here for awhile it seems. I've been detoxing myself from Cymbalta.
This drug should be banned...forever. I started taking it about a year ago. I starting wondering why I had such a rapid weight gain, severe daytime sleepiness followed by days of insomnia, feeling dead inside, no more inspiration, diminished interest in sex.

I started feeling like the life was being sucked out of me. My psych decided to put me on an upper to combat the sleepiness. WTF? Luckily, my friendly neighborhood pharmacist had a little chat with me about what was going on. I'm taking drugs to calm me down, bring me up, stabilize my moods and now, a controlled upper? Something is wrong with this picture.

I agreed. I did a bit of research on cymbalta side effects. I thought I was having night sweats from some sort of hormonal change...nope, cymbalta. dizziness and diminished vision? you guessed it! The list goes on and on.

I did a bit more research on how to successfully detox myself from it. Its not a drug you can just not take anymore. Over the past few weeks, I slowly lowered my dosage.
Then, when it came time to go cold turkey, all hell broke loose.

Severe body aches,(Bernie asked me to describe the aches, stabbing, throbbing, constant? No. Its like when you tense up all of the muscles in your body, then let go...ya know? But its like, you don't let go. You can't let go). dizziness, brain zaps, loss of appetite, nausea, diarrhea, sleepiness (I'm talking not being able to get out of bed, except to puke or poop). Awful moods, terribly sarcastic and cynical , downright MEAN to my kids and husband. I made sure I took a shower daily. It helped with the body aches and frankly, I stank. I drank as much water as I could keep down. Soup. Tea. Nothing solid.

I wore my hair in braids to keep it out of the way..when, you know. Sure my kids had a great time laughing at my braids, "Hey Ma, where's your wooden shoes?" Another reason for the braids: if you're in bed with long hair for any extended period of time, the back of it gets all mangled into a tangled ball. Sex hair without the sex. One good thing is I also detoxed myself from coffee and sugar while I was at it.

Anyone who knows me knows that if you look up "coffee" in the dictionary, you'd see my photo right there next to Juan Valdez. (side bar: Juan Valdez takes on Starbucks... I was under the mistaken impression that JV was a fictional character...NOT SO!)Folks were completely SHOCKED to hear I stopped drinking coffee. I'm a certifiable tea-totaler now!

Its been about a week. Yesterday I felt pretty good. I got out of bed for a good while, entertained company even! I feel even better today, body aches gone and fewer brain-zaps. I'm still slightly angry - kinda snappy for no good reason. Losing my patience. Interrogating people.

So, I'm going to my GP tomorrow. I'm getting a referral for a new psych doc.
Hey, good things! I've not eaten meat in a week and feel pretty good internally. I noticed something about my eating habits. Even though I felt like crap, as soon as I had a argument or annoying situation come up with one of my daughters, I automatically reached for food to sooth me, however, I couldn't eat it...it was a battle of mind over matter.

So, all and all - I'd say it was worth it. I know I need to be on "something". My moods are insane. I like my moods - when I hit the clarity of extreme creativity...but hate the moods when I get cynical and self-loathing. Anytime I've gone off the meds, I self-medicate and get myself into trouble. Its just not worth the risk.

That's it for now.

Happy New Year!