One of my favorite websites to visit on an almost daily basis is Overheard in New York.
It's kinda dirty, but there are some really funny quotes in there.
For those of you who have no idea what I am saying, I will assign you quotes in no particular order:
For Bayonne Mike:
With Your iPod On, You Don't Hear America Singing
Crazy drunk guy: When we get there, we gonna pull out all the plugs, and we gonna throw down! Then we'll see who's who and what's what! You gay motherfuckers married? All the gay motherfuckers gettin' married! Brooklyn! Brooklyn, you ain't holdin' your own! Queens! You and yo' little iPod! You ain't pullin' your weight! We from the Bronx! 233rd and White Plains Road! Fordham Road! All you cannibals -- I munch on a cannibal! When we get there, we gonna do this... Like Christmas!
Older, well-dressed lady: 'Munch on a cannibal...' That's actually a great line. Very evocative...
--2 train
For Maria:
Regardless of the Results of That Standardized Test
Lady approaching friend and her child: Well, hello Sabrina! What are you going to ask from Santa Claus for Christmas?
Little girl: Look, lady -- I'm eight, not ignorant.
--Christmas market, Union Square
For Xmastime:
Whatever, Mr. "Bolivia Is a City in Spain"
Young girl: I'm bored.
Father: Okay, let's play the state name alphabet game.
Young girl: Yay!
Father: Okay, here we go -- A?
Young girl: Alabama!
Father: Good. B?
Young girl: Bolivia!
Father: No, that's a city in Spain. Try again.
Young girl: ... I can't!
Father: That's because there are no states beginning with B! Ha! Gets you every time! Okay -- C?
Young girl: Carolina!
Father: Eh, I shouldn't really give you credit for that... but I guess this time... D?
Young girl: Dashwood!
Father: Dashwood?! What the fuck is Dashwood?! This game is over.
--C train
For Rambler:
Save That for Your Term Papers
English teacher: Midas wanted everything he touched to turn to gold. What did he touch?
Student: His stuff...?
English teacher: Let's not even go there.
--Brooklyn Tech
For Bernie (no website for Bernie):
We Should Not Have Smoked Weed before Math Class
Guy: Do you think Jim's cute?
Girl: He looks like a baby.
Guy: Like an isosceles baby.
Girl: His head is made of polygons.
For Me:
She's Used to All That Pseudo-Italian Crap
Woman #1, pointing to smallest cup: So, what size is this?
Barista: That's a small.
Woman #1: And what size is this?
Barista: That's a medium.
Woman #1: And so what size is this?
Barista: That's a large.
Woman #2: Wow, this has been the most fascinating exchange I've heard in quite some time.
--9th St Espresso, East Village
For Gina:
Chick to guy on cell: Excuse me -- this is a random question, but are you a piano tuner?
Guy on cell, pausing to stare at chick: That is the most random question someone has ever asked me in my entire life. [Walks away.]
--Clinton & Joralemon, Brooklyn Heights
5 comments:
that's amazing, Ang. I thought your own assigned comment had to do with a bra size. What does that mean?
i was puzzling over it when I read the word Barista, and realized she was talking about coffee cups. Sheesh. A bra would have been a BRA-ista, I suppose.
Would you believe I'd never heard of this? I will have to take a gander at it....
heeeee! BRAista indeed!
sounds like a drunk guy...ordering a suped-up vente latte:
hic! heyy...braista, gimme another shot, no! a daaable.
oh yes! Maria, you'd laugh your arse off!
I sit here choking and crying for a good 15minutes every morning.
Like I said, a lot of it is quite blue, but I think you can handle it.
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