Its time to go. This piece of furniture was the only thing in my house that didn't belong to Bernie or his late wife when we moved in. I HAD to hold on to it. My identity. The first piece of furniture I ever bought "new". But now, its time. Its time I let you go, old friend, to grace the long wall of another.
Downtown Lakewood (NJ) is a mecca for the Hasidim. A person can get a good deal. A person can haggle. Cash talks. So, I march down - clutching my gumption, my intestinal fortitude and guile. I mean to get a good deal.
I walk into Family Furniture "Home of the Good Deal" down on County Line where Agway used to be. I see this behemoth of a sofa right in front of me, first thing. "Hey! hey! Excuse me? Excuse me, sir?" You see, the Hasidim don't normally converse with the goym, especially not the females. Ugh. Well...look, money talks, so lets haggle.
"How much for this sofa?" I give the off-hand impression of interest. "1,500" he says. "ummm." I say...and look at the rip in the back. "can I get something off for this TEAR?" "What tear? I don't see a tear." "THIS Tear, down here.." "That's not a tear, thats just a mark from the shipping" "That is a tear. Can I get a discount?" "Discount? You want a discount?" "Yes. This is not a perfect item." "1,200" "1,200?! Is that all you can do? Look at this tear!" "But this is a sleeper sofa. QUEEN SIZED"
"It is not perfect, there is a tear." "The tear is in the back! No one can see it" "I can see it, I know its there" "Push it up against the wall -- no one will see." "No thank you." I grab up my kids and walk towards the door. "Wait! Wait! 1,000!" "No, I am sorry, but that is too much for an imperfect item. There is a tear..." "No TAX! I charge no tax...and free delivery!" "Free delivery?" "FREE DELIVERY".
When all was said and done, I ended up paying 600 dollars for this sofa...and free delivery.
I was never more proud. My own fancy-schmancy leather pull-out sleeper sofa. I've had this thing for at least 10 years. In fact, just last year I finally tore off the plastic covering the mattress. Every other stick of furniture I owned was hand-me-down or second-hand.
"Why pay retail?" Is my motto. Seriously. I am cheap. At one time it was a necessity. I learned. Now, my thriftiness is my lifestyle. My kids laugh at me because I am so cheap. "Ma! Why do you do this? You don't HAVE to be cheap. You can buy anything you want!" I won't buy anything for myself that isn't a "bargain". Sure they get what they want...within reason...but me? 50%-75% off racks or second-hand. Always.
The way I see it is ...there are so many other wonderful things to spend money on. Travel, for instance. Experiences, restaurants and movies, plays and music. Clothing and furnishings don't especially interest me. As long as its clean, paid for and resembles pilgrim clothing, I'm happy.
3 comments:
Our leather sofa is everyone's favorite place to sit or lay. It was the first thing that Bing and I actually bought together and we love it.
I would be a poor haggler, though. I have been told, though, that if you get to the door without someone trying to stop you, you have reached the limit and should shrug and go back and buy it.
i'd bet my eyetooth that Pherrin's girls would love to have that in their house! no wait....my back molar. it's gotta go anyway.
or walk out and come back as someone else...
nice haggling Ang! I remember that lady. That's where I bought that eye sore of an 'entertainment center' (the beige Ashley with the dental corners?)Sort of contemporary. Anyway... They wanted way more for it but it was damaged also. finally took a hundred bucks for it. Everyone who saw that thing hated it. The tenant who took over my lease when I had to leave early told me I had BEST get it out of there before I left or he was NOT moving in!
Anyway. Have you gotten any offers on it?
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