Say What You Feel Honey!

Laura and Gina's late Grandmother (aka: Nonna...not pictured here, although this lady looks like a "Nonna" type) used to say, "Go with you feelings, Honey" when anyone was wrought with indecision.

People are basically afraid to reveal themselves. Or maybe its just the people I know and read? I get a kick out of the anonomous nature of blogs...and wish their authors would feel safer...but then again...you never really know who is reading this stuff.

I'm sure there are pithy blogs. Mine used to be pithy before I realized my words were quite caustic, causing irreptutable damage to the psyche of my subjects.
Plus, once you blog it...its out there for all the word to see, including you....and when you feel better about a certain person or subject you cry, "Oh my Gaud, Why did I write THAT!"

Then what? Well, you can delete the post, but then if someone read it and visits again, they know you deleted it and you risk the threat of being branded, "Worthless and Weak". Ummm. Maybe the subject had contacted the author and demanded deletion? Or maybe it was the crap! knee-jerk reaction.

It does help, when you're feeling low to get it all out there on "paper". Journaling has its benefits. Its great free therapy. Adds clarity.

Lately I don't really have any angst. Most of my mental house-keeping as been completed for now. I think I've faced most of my demons and punched them in the face. Sure, I'll probably always battle my love/hate relationship with food, but thats okay for now. I love to create via food. I'm not unhealthy or obese, I'm just not Claudia Shiffer
and for some reason, I still cannot accept the fact that I am not, nor will I ever be a 6ft blonde supermodel. I've made my bed. I choose to eat and not smoke. I have to accept this.

Other than that, most of my delusions of grandeur have been quelled. Most of my so-I-thought delusions have been realized, too.
1.) I never thought I'd have a cool job that I actually enjoy.
2.) I never thought I'd drive a new car.
3.) I never thought I'd own a house.
4.) I never thought I'd belong to a gorgeous health spa
3.) last but not least ...I never thought I'd meet and marry a man as wonderful, handsome, sexy, sweet, loving, intelligent and couragous as my husband, Bernie.
As the poster person for dysfunctional relationships, I certainly never thought I'd have a decent trusting, loving relationship. I didn't think I could actually get along with anybody. I did not believe I could live an easy life...period. Bernie doesn't fail me, nor I him. We're based on mutual respect and unfailing love. Each of us would do anything for the other, willingly.
We're on the same page. I don't know how this happened...but I'm so happy with my life right now, its unbelieveable. Finally, I feel like I have a future, even if I won't ever be a 6ft supermodel, maybe a 5ft blog writing Soccer Mom ain't all that bad.