Hair

I've decided to write. I haven't in a while and I'm getting a bit too low not to get some of this out. My knee is really messed up. I slipped in February on a patch of ice and tore the medial meniscus of my left knee. Same knee that I had operated on a while back. I wished I hadn't had that operation because my leg was never the same afterward. Now, here I am stuck again with this pain. I can't exercise. I can barely walk on it. Its very very very depressing. My depression has taken a turn for the worse. I've been sleeping most of the day and all of the night. I haven't showered in 5 days. My kids insisted that I shower today. My husband is away for 2 weeks. I'm having a really bad time right now. My hobbling around is causing my back and hip to ache.

Last Thursday I went in for an MRI. This Thursday I find out the results. Somthings got to give. The painkillers I'm taking dont seem to be working any more and I don't want to take a higher dosage...they are addictive enough as it is. The make you crazy too.
To top it all off, my analyst is in China for a month adopting a baby girl. She the only person I can talk to about all my shit.

I tried talking to bernie, and he was a good listener. He has to remind himself not to solve my problem (there is no solution until I find out whats wrong) I know its hard for him not to help me now, but there isn't a darn thing anyone can do.

I really need help in the house though. Its a mess. Ugh. Well, back to bed. My eyes are closing again.