White Whine

A new white person's complaint every day of the week! (thanks, Heif)
White Whine Its so funny yet true. How precocious whitey has become!

Everything is amazing/Nobody's happy

If you grew up during the '70s - you'll love this! (don't click on any other of his videos, unless you brace yourself for crude content)

Bruce @ Obama Rally in Philly

I've never been prouder to be a Jersey Girl.



Hello Philly,

I am glad to be here today for this voter registration drive and for Barack Obama, the next president of the United States.

I've spent 35 years writing about America, its people, and the meaning of the American Promise. The Promise that was handed down to us, right here in this city from our founding fathers, with one instruction: Do your best to make these things real: opportunity, equality, social and economic justice, a fair shake for all of our citizens, the American idea, as a positive influence, around the world for a more just and peaceful existence. These are the things that give our lives hope, shape, and meaning. They are the ties that bind us together and give us faith in our contract with one another.

I've spent most of my creative life measuring the distance between that American promise and American reality. For many Americans, who are today losing their jobs, their homes, seeing their retirement funds disappear, who have no healthcare, or who have been abandoned in our inner cities, the distance between that promise and that reality has never been greater or more painful.

I believe Senator Obama has taken the measure of that distance in his own life and in his work. I believe he understands, in his heart, the cost of that distance, in blood and suffering, in the lives of everyday Americans. I believe as president, he would work to restore that promise to so many of our fellow citizens who have justifiably lost faith in its meaning. After the disastrous administration of the past 8 years, we need someone to lead us in an American reclamation project. In my job, I travel the world, and occasionally play big stadiums, just like Senator Obama. I've continued to find, wherever I go, America remains a repository of people's hopes, possibilities, and desires, and that despite the terrible erosion to our standing around the world, accomplished by our recent administration, we remain, for many, a house of dreams. One thousand George Bushes and one thousand Dick Cheneys will never be able to tear that house down.

They will, however, be leaving office, dropping the national tragedies of Katrina, Iraq, and our financial crisis in our laps. Our sacred house of dreams has been abused, looted, and left in a terrible state of disrepair. It needs care; it needs saving, it needs defending against those who would sell it down the river for power or a quick buck. It needs strong arms, hearts, and minds. It needs someone with Senator Obama's understanding, temperateness, deliberativeness, maturity, compassion, toughness, and faith, to help us rebuild our house once again. But most importantly, it needs us. You and me. To build that house with the generosity that is at the heart of the American spirit. A house that is truer and big enough to contain the hopes and dreams of all of our fellow citizens. That is where our future lies. We will rise or fall as a people by our ability to accomplish this task. Now I don't know about you, but I want that dream back, I want my America back, I want my country back.

So now is the time to stand with Barack Obama and Joe Biden, roll up our sleeves, and come on up for the rising.

Web 2.0

So, I finally figured out Facebook and Twitter. I can update my status and upload my pics via cell phone. I may be updating too much and driving my "friends" crazy. Its not easy keeping up with all of this non-verbal communication.

Let me know if you wanna "friend" (confirm or deny) or "follow" me.

Is it really THAT bad?

First of all, check out this hilarious graphic from The Onion -
Inside Obama's Emails

Now after you've had a good laugh, let me tell you what I'm thinking. I've been sleeping A LOT. Like, going to sleep at midnight and not getting out of bed until 10 am. I don't sleep through the night and I am interrupted at 6 am when the alarm goes off and Bernie gets up then again around 7:30 when he brings me a cup of coffee in a nice effort to get me up.

The coffee sits and when I do finally get up, I need to make a new pot. The other day I couldn't sleep, I was tossing and turning until around 3am. Now, the next morning I was up like a shot at 7am. How strange is this? I've been trying to train myself to get more sleep. Bernie kept harping on me to get to bed earlier - Now I sleep too much - but that one day felt great when I only get a few hours in.

Don't get me wrong, I feel VERY rested after staying in bed for 10 hours. Its weird. Like, I CANNOT get out of bed. I keep falling back into REM sleep and having short vivid dreams, which leave me irritable. I had a sleep study done a few months ago and I'm fine in that area.

I've been struggling with this because I felt guilty. Bernie is getting up and driving John to school and making sure Genevieve is ready to go on time (I think. Genevieve might be on her own). Now I'm thinking I'm not acting like the June Cleaver Mom I always was, but is anyone suffering? No. Its probably good for them to bond more with their father. Bernie has to get up to go to work anyway. Plus, he LIKES getting up early. He gets up early on the weekends too.

So here is what I'm thinking. I'm lucky. Lucky, Lucky, Lucky! Lucky I now have the luxury of sleep. Its nice and quiet. No one is suffering and I feel way more relaxed.
Why am I guilt-tripping over this? I spent so much energy worrying and feeling guilty. Guilt is a useless emotion.

I'm on top of everything - there is food in the house and everyone has clean clothes. I work everyday (luckily or maybe not so luckily from home making my own hours). I have nothing to complain about.

Katie is mad at me because we won't hand her money to go hang out with her friends (she needs to get a job). But that's not my problem. I've been helping her and giving her advice. She didn't want to go to college, so she has to do something with her time other than "hang-out" and drive her friends all over creation. Gas is expensive! Get a job, kid.

Anyway, I am giving myself permission to stop feeling guilty for having a nice, relaxing life full of possibilities and resources at my fingertips. I'll figure it out.

The seasons are changing and that is never a good time for me. I love autumn but something about nature dying (bernie helped me a lot with this notion, he says nature is preparing for rebirth) depresses me. I am becoming aware of this seasonal affect.

Just deal with it! Why do I put so much pressure on myself for no reason? Good question and the answer is, I'm not going to do it.

GAD ZOOKS!

Take a moment to stop by Therapydoc I love her chicken-soup-style!

Her latest post is regarding GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). Reading the list of the symptoms I believe I can add GAD to my list of mental maladies.

As a reformed Chaos Junkie, I can honestly say that since I've decided I am worth self-preservation, I find solace in worrying about other people's problems.

Yesterday while at Dr. R's office (my psychiatrist) I read an article in Psychology Today, Dare to be Yourself and you know, its not easy.

More on this later.

inspiration

Gotta get some! I've been feeling a bit like a fish out of water since my PC blew up. I'm working on my laptop in the living room, perched on the edge of my love seat hunched over the computer on the coffee table.

Needless to say, my lower back is killing me and my work is lacking due to the uncomfortablility of the workspace. I need to get this straightened out.

Well, I need to find someone to interview -- stat -- so I better take some Advil and get to work!

a day that started like any other

...and ended as none ever has.

--Michael Bloomberg, Mayor of the City of New York

Fotolog. Changed. My. Life.

Today I had the pleasure of meeting Carrie, the wife of Adam Seifer of Fotolog fame.
She is working at Meetup now. She walked over and took a seat behind me during our staff meeting stating, "I don't know if we've ever met, but I know your headshot." I was completely confused until she explained who she is and then it all made perfect sense.

Back in January '03 I was wondering what to do with the new digital camera I had received as a Christmas gift. I had been blogging for about a year at that time and knew of one guy who posted pictures of his kid on this site, Fotolog. I joined. The rest is history.

I met the people I work for now...for the past five years...through F'log. Working for Meetup changed a lot of me. Commuting daily to NYC was a big leap for me. Getting involved with politics, expanding my circle of friends, learning so much about life and people in general...has changed me in a good way.

Anyway, I am going to rejoin my Fotolog and start posting regularly again. Hey, its the least I can do!

Funked Up

I'm feeling pretty crappy right now. Disillusioned, bored. I think I need to get out more. Tomorrow I'm heading into NYC for a work thing (meeting) and really not feeling that either. Perhaps I'll feel better about it tomorrow -- at least I'm getting reimbursed for my travel expenses now. I have to make sure I have enough quarters for the parking meter at Princeton Train Station.

Bernie has to be at work super early so its all on me to get everyone out the door for school. Not so bad, really...its more just me not wanting to wake up early. Life on Life's Terms.

The weather is supposed to be nice and fall-ish tomorrow...which is a blessing. Nothing is worse that hot and humid in the bowels of the NYC subway system. I wish I didn't need to ride the tubes downtown. At least I can walk from West 4th Street on a nice day, take in all the Greenwich Village has to offer. Maybe I'll buy some falafel from Mamouns.

I used to eat so much of what we called ghetto Indian and middle eastern food. Sometimes I walk by those places and cringe now. Gosh, I am turning into a suburbanite! lol. What I should do is bring a camera. My little Pentax is back in working condition...that would be fun. I forget I can take pictures with my phone now too!

Anyway, I need to get out of this funk. I have a block about work and need to get a bunch of stuff done before I leave tomorrow morning. Just DO IT.

Obsessed

I've become obsessed with news television. It used to be just MSNBC but since the liberal bent became really severe, I decided to take a peek at Fox and CNN. I like MSNBC personalities much better, but I wanted to check and see what the other guys are saying.

I really can't get behind the republicans. Something smarmy about it. Obama just seems so much more calm and cool. McCain troubles me and Sarah Palin is downright scary.

One opinion that really sticks in my craw is the notion that Hillary supporters would fall in behind Sarah Palin, "because she is a woman". The two couldn't be more opposite. What sort of moron would vote for a person based on gender alone?

And the war. The surge. Lets face it, the surge wouldn't be necessary if we didn't get into this stupid war, based solely on lies, to begin with. Its like a kid running around the kitchen table and knocking a glass of milk on the floor -- then praising him for cleaning it up.

As Barack said last night during his interview with Olberman, "The American people are not stupid" so I hope after the Palin dust-up is over, and the debates begin Obama will get his Mojo back.

Blogging more?

Now that fall is upon us, I think I'll start blogging more. I get these weird spurts of thought that blogging is BAD and like, people should just talk and not be socially ambient.

But, I get a big kick out of reading blogs - and what the heck? My stream of conscientiousness (there's a five-dollar word for you) is just as relevant as the next bloggers, right?

So there.

Thought #1
Why does our 10 year old girl think so much of her hair and clothes. The kid doesn't have her period yet, she shouldn't care this much, she really doesn't have the hormones to back up this behavior.

Thought #2
Sarah Palin scares me. That whole Rudy/Sarah bashing of community organizing really really freaked me out.

Thought #3
I love coffee -- maybe too much.

Back to School!

And now we do the dance of Joy! I had the greatest feeling of freedom watching Gigi get on the bus this morning.

Gigi noted that this year seemed so peaceful. "No yelling, fighting and showering!"
True. Since the two older girls are gone its just our little quiet family. Bernie wasn't even here (he's gone...AGAIN)

So, we had a peaceful send-off -- no drama -- just smiles all around.

I decided to start packing away the summer stuff, remove the white slipcovers from the dark plaid sofa in the blue room, take down the yellow and blue striped jabot and replace it with maroon broadcloth drapes and white sheers.

Later I may tend to my faded summer flower garden around my mailbox. The marigolds, petunias and zinnias are no longer making buds. Time for mum replacements!

Its deadly hot out today. Not really autumnal at all, like 92 degrees...probably won't be doing much gardening.

Later, our neighbor will host her yearly "school-bus cake party". She does this every year. Really sweet actually -- ahhh its good.

What's Meetup?

What's new?

My PC blew up. Not sure how it happened, but it slowly stopped functioning. First it was the mouse, then the keyboard. The monitor wouldn't turn on, then the CPU just died.

Bernie came home after his stint in the desert and turned my 'blue room' into a mass of wires and metal boxes...to no avail. Its over. OVER. Its the end of an era.
It was one of the first gifts Bernie bought for me.

Now I'm totally on laptop. I have to get used to it. I don't like not having a mouse, even though I can hook one up to this -- its better without one, I just have to become accustomed to the new set up.

Actually, it will be nice not having tons of dusty wires and power strips crowded under my desk, always a bear to clean. Streamlined...yeah, that's the ticket!

Other than that, we're getting ready for back to school! Pherrin leads the way with moving on Thursday into a university subsidized apartment with 5 of her sorority sisters...rraawwwwrrrr!~ will they survive? Only time will tell. Everything HAS to be black, white or hot pink. EVERYTHING. I'm sewing up black and pink polka-dot throw pillows for the sofa...my contribution along with hand-me-down pots and kitchen appliances.

Katie has a job interview with Catholic Charities today...wish her luck! John is going to be a junior this year and Gigi is all set with her Target gear.

All and all, I'd have to say its been smooth sailing so far.
I'm looking forward to the change in seasons and our anniversary vacation coming up in September! Yay!

Box of Blues

 

Gigi and I took in a bluegrass festival at Duke Island Park tonight.

Butterflies Are Free...

So far, the vitamin Z seems to be doing the trick. My mind won't allow me to go to the "dark place" (self-loathing). My energy is up. I actually spent the entire day ripping the oh so invasive spearmint invasion away from my poor lavender plants.

What happened is...the morning glory vines, another invasive tyrant, ran up and over the mint and pulled it down over the lavender. Why do such pretty vines have to be so evil? the mint is bad enough but to have the MGVs pull a double whammy on my eau de province is just intolerable.

So, I get on my white eyelet gardening skirt (with the big black mulch stains on the front) and a black tank top, my black and white polka-dot garden boots and straw cowboy hat. I arm myself with lopers and rose nippers and set to work.

Clipping and pulling, pulling and clipping. Down on my knees, up on my haunches, yanking those minty demons out of the soil.

My doc says pulling weeds is good stress therapy...I kept that in mind whilst I relieved the gladioli bed of the morning glory vines. I ripped out the faded green bean vines and all manor of errant herb or weed.

Low and behold, my fennel plants are playing host to the most brilliant green and black butterfly caterpillars! I gingerly removed the vines from the tender pale green stalks as not to disturb their nesting places.

Upon further investigation, the fennel and dill plants are perfect nesting places for swallowtail butterflies! I can't wait to see them!

I pulled up the slate stepping stones and removed the tufts of crab grass and chick weed. I snipped off the buds from my basil plants...its far too early to see him go to seed!

Once I was satisfied with this semblance of order, I dug out the bird bath and feeders and strategically placed them back inside my secret garden. The entire idea for today came from watching a little brown wren give itself a dirt bath. Poor thing!

Back to Basics

Back to the beginning. Zoloft. We tried to put me back on Abilify but it wasn't working...wayyyy to depressed. I went back today and after a heated debate on the pros and cons of Nardil, we decided to go back to what worked for me 15 years ago.

Hey, I remember feeling such clarity and direction when I took Zoloft. I can't remember why I stopped, I think it just stopped being effective or maybe I changed to a new doc who thought I needed something else. Who knows.

So, lets see what happens now.

One Pill Makes You Larger...

I'm not sure why, but suddenly I've lost the urge to blog.

Lots of wacky situations, incidents and accidents, and genuinely fun stuff going on here in lovely central NJ, none of which I feel compelled to blog over.

My main angst at the moment has to do with taking my health into my own hands. I've never been a huge fan of better health through pharmaceuticals and am currently waging battle with my conscience on the last medication my coo-coo doc (psychiatric) tells me I really need to take to stay "normal". We had a long talk about my perfectionism issues, not wanting to the the person who has to "take pills".

I know he's right but I hate the side effects and my drug-induced affect. I miss having that spark of supreme happiness and boundless creativity (a.k.a the up-side of manic depression) I feel depressed most of the time now. At the writing, I'm crying. Mourning the loss of myself. How pathetic.

This all coincided with another occurrence which I really can't blog about but...lets just say because the prejudice and stigma towards people suffering with mental illnesses -- a battle was lost. Sucks!!!

What's worse, staying out there and just being the "crazy lady" or getting help and walking around with the scarlet letter? When I think back on it, one of my high school pals nick-named me "Craze". Quite a few autographs are headed up, "To Craze" in my yearbook that year.

The hand-writing was on the wall a long time ago -- and my insane life choices bear it all out. Oh well, they say the definition of insanity in repeating the same behavior and expecting different results...so, I suppose I should just shut-up and take that little pink pill.

Pregnant Robber leaves toddler at the scene of the crime